9 Weeks and 6 Days Pregnant

Sorry I’ve been MIA, but I’ve been a little bit worried and was starting to think the worst this past week. I seemed to have lost some of my symptoms – I wasn’t QUITE as tired. My boobs weren’t QUITE as sore, my nausea wasn’t QUITE as bad. Now as if the lack of symptoms wasn’t enough to worry about… I had a bleed on Saturday. Not spotting, not a little streak in my mucous. I had a bleed. Bright red, thin and a lot. Thankfully no clots though. So I kind of checked out from the world this past week.

The bleeding stopped on Saturday night and I took it fairly easily on Sunday and Monday.

Ob appointment was yesterday arvo and I first spoke to him about a dear friend who managed to get pregnant first cycle after her m/c only to have very low rising HCG and start to m/c again today – unfortunately it appears to be a chemical. I’m just devastated for her, her and her husband were so positive that this couldn’t happen to them twice in a row, and now they’ve been crushed twice in 5 weeks 

I told him about my bleed and he was a little concerned. He kept saying brown blood isn’t too bad, and I said no sorry this was bright red blood. Oh ‘not good’ he said. Yep – knew that…….

So we went over to the U/S machine and he went with the abdominal scan. He said ‘see that’ and this time I could not see a thing. Last time I saw the heartbeat straight away, this time I could just see grey, black and white. I told him honestly I can’t see a thing this time. Then he did an measurement and it was 10 wk and 6 days, I said woooah that’s bit big, better not be that big already 

He then did an internal and once that was in we could see a baby. A ‘real’ looking baby. It had arms and legs and a distinct head and body. I’ve never been pregnant with a REAL baby. I’ve only ever seen blobs. This looked like a baby and I was blown away. I’m not naïve or stupid, I used to be a nurse and I’ve seen a stack of ultrasounds etc etc, I know how babies develop. BUT me personally, I’ve never been able to make something that grew enough to look like a real baby  you could even see the fingers.

I stopped and just stared for awhile, I must have gone very quiet because he asked if I was alright. I told him that for all the many times I’ve been pregnant I’ve never grown something that looked like an actual baby. It was moving and kicking and he even said can you see it kicking. It was so surreal. And I said to my partner its so strange that there is so much movement but I can’t feel anything. I think DP was a little awestruck by the whole situation too, neither of us have seen anything that looks like an actual baby. And the Dr said this is usually the stage where people give the baby a nickname, yeah buddy not us. No nicknames yet. We don’t even say WHEN we have a baby, we say IF we have a baby. We are very very aware that there is still a chance of something going wrong and are being respectful of that.

NT scan in 2 weeks and 2 days. OB appointment 3 weeks.

Lets hope for no more bleeding!

Apologies for the blurry image, its a photo taken of a scan on my mobile.

8 Weeks and 6 Days

Time feels as though it is dragging a little at the moment. I think it has to do with today being the same time that I lost one of our angel babies. The baby stopped growing at 8 weeks and 5 days, but I had no sign of a miscarriage until 2 weeks later when I had the tiniest, tiniest little bit of brown spotting. TINY amount. Honestly the amount of spotting that was there would not usually cause anyone concern, but for someone reason I just KNEW it was over.


At the moment I feel a little not pregnant. Maybe I’m just used to my own personal pregnancy symptoms? I’m fat, which is so funny - Because I’m fat fat, not pregnant fat. It’s like my body has retained every single thing I have eaten. I just can’t suck my tummy in anymore. Boobs seemed to have stopped growing and are happy to sit at this full but not huge stage. Would love them to be this full all the time. The weight seems to be from grazing all day. when I ea I don’t feel nauseas. So I nibble on little lollies and bad things throughout the day. I really need to get into practice with snacking on fruit. Dinner lunch and breakfast are all good meals and I’m definitely covering off the dietary and nutritional requirements. Its just the snacking I’m having an issue with.

I get headaches if I don’t drink enough water. Never a problem at work as I drink about 2 – 3 litres. But on the weekends I need to consciously make sure I’m drinking enough water.

I still get very very sleepy around 2 pm, and then again at 6 pm. And if I stay up past 10pm I’m wide awake for hours and hours. Thankfully all the good tv shows have finished and I can get early nights. Which I think is helping a little with my energy levels. However, as everyone knows, when you’re in the first trimester no matter how much sleep you have it still feels like its not enough.

Well another week til my next OB appointment and we will see if this little one is sticking around for us.

7 weeks and 5 Days Pregnant - (according to everyone now)

So after a lengthy wait for the OB where I thought I might actually from thge hunger and nausea.... We got to see bub again. Heartbeat thumping away and back to measuring exactly to my original dates.


The stress has me exhausted and I'm looking forward to bed. Dr wanted me to have a few days off work, but unfortunately I'm just not in the position to do that at the moment. And honestly what damage is an office job going to do, really? It's as about as low impact and gentle as you can get. I'd do more at home cleaning etc. I had a tiny bit of spotting and I just can't afford to lose a weeks pay as a precautionary measure. I already had time off last week becasue I was quite simply exhausted. Spotting could be a regular occurence and having regular time off work doesn't bode well for job security.

I told the OB I'm just indifferent at the moment to this pregnancy. I'm not excited, I'm not scared. I'm just waiting for whatever is going to happen to happen. I don't even feel like a participant in the pregnancy, which I know sounds ludicrous - but kind of sums up how I feel.

I have to book my NT scan and I'm honestly scared that if I do I will jinx the pregnancy. I feel as if I'm being too brazen by booking anything in advance. But if I leave it too long I'll be stuck and not be able to get an appointment So it's a catch 22.



I'd honestly be perfectly happy to have a little nap for, ah 5 or 6 weeks

7 Weeks and 5 Days Pregnant - (according to me)

I'm spotting.

Not really sure how I feel about that. It was only a little bit. BUT it was only a little tiny bit of brown blood last time, and that is what signalled the end that time.

I'll keep you updated.

7 Weeks 1 days according to me - 7 weeks 2 US - 6 weeks 6 OB - WHO KNOWS!!!

Hello Stalkers,er….. readers, Hello READERS J


My positivity from the first couple of weeks has diminished a little so I’ve been staying away so as not to bring anyone down.

I had my OB appointment today. Saw the midwife first and got my Yellow Card, Hospital Admission Forms, and my referral for the NT scan. And to be honest – it was all a bit too much. I ‘know’ it’s normal, and that I ‘need’ these things. But it was just all too much and I just didn’t want to even touch the forms. I felt like I was jinxing everything by being so presumptuous. It’s also pretty daunting when your Yellow card says ZERO children but 6 pregnancies. And now I get to carry that around with me – yay. She then went on to tell me about Mrs X who had six thousand m/c’s and then had 56 healthy babies etc etc. My brain was so overloaded I just wanted to run. Then I got the full run down on how babies are made and ‘why’ things can go wrong. I had to tell her I used to be nurse and kind of know the deal. Then she wanted to tell me that I didn’t anything about cycles, and that I couldn’t possibly have O’d when I say I did. OK lady – put whatever the hell you want on the form, and I’ll just change it later. I was thankful to get out of there. I’ve met her before and she is lovely, but she was just too much for me today.

After that I went in to see my lovely OB – who was A MILLION times better than the midwife. He said are you nervous. I said definitely. He said how is DP, and I said the same as me, happy, but very anxious. He said it’s typical and not to worry about feeling like that (which I’m not). I told him I hadn’t eaten this morning in case there is something wrong and I need surgery. Because of one stupid glass of water last time I had keep a dead baby inside me overnight before I could have my D&C. I hated it, it was worse knowing it was still in there and no longer alive than it was to actually process the information that I’d miscarried. So no breakfast and no water this morning, which made for some crappy nausea while I was waiting.

The OB couldn’t see the baby through an abdominal ultrasound, which was disappointing as I was trying to avoid internals. So we had to have dildocam J Once that was in he could asked if I could see the heartbeat. Huh – I couldn’t see anything. His portable U/S machine is pretty basic compared to the one at the U/S clinic!!! But he pointed it out and started doing some measurements. Bub measured 6 weeks and 6 days. It should have been 7 weeks and 2 days according to my last scan. So I really wasn’t impressed at all. Although he said that it’s completely normal to measure a bit out, I don’t think they realise that that seriously offers zero comfort. He said all the usual if I feel like I just lose all the pregnancy symptoms, call him. If I bleed, call him. If I have severe cramping, call him. If I have any other issues, call him. And he was lovely enough to drive me his mobile number. And then he said I will be on fortnightly visits until we decide I might actually be having a pregnancy where I get a baby at the end. We finished up the appointment and I went to make the next one. Theuy wanted to do it a 8 weeks 6 days and I said no – that that is not enough ‘time’ to pass. I lost one of the babies at 8 weeks and 5 days, and I NEEDED the next appointment to be well after that.

So I left feeling…. Nothing. I rang DP and said I just don’t FEEL anything. I’m not happy, I’m not scared; I’m not excited, I’m not sad. I’m just numb. I’m just sitting here waiting to have a miscarriage of waiting to get to at least 10 weeks or so. And I feel terrible for not feeling anything, which weighs on my mind. I don’t want to be a bi7ch, or indifferent to my pregnancy. But it seems this ‘numb’ business is easier to do then being emotionally destroyed and bawling most of the time. So I’m kinda hiding out, keeping to myself and just sitting with DP and being numb for awhile. Hopefully this funk will shift soon.

Sorry I’m not more positive today folks. Just a bit apprehensive, that’s all.

6 Weeks 1 Day Pregnant

Sorry I haven't posted. I'm exhausted and emotional. I can't stop crying. Just want to sleep.
I am PREGNANT with a 5mm bubba in the RIGHT spot with a heartbeat of 110bpm.

I promise to come back and give you more soon. Right now I need to sleep, because if I don't sleep then I'm busy crying!!! Looking forward to that part going away!!!!
Blood results:

28 DPO - 44,000

And a little pic......

see it over there... soooo teeny tiny : )