9 Weeks and 6 Days Pregnant

Sorry I’ve been MIA, but I’ve been a little bit worried and was starting to think the worst this past week. I seemed to have lost some of my symptoms – I wasn’t QUITE as tired. My boobs weren’t QUITE as sore, my nausea wasn’t QUITE as bad. Now as if the lack of symptoms wasn’t enough to worry about… I had a bleed on Saturday. Not spotting, not a little streak in my mucous. I had a bleed. Bright red, thin and a lot. Thankfully no clots though. So I kind of checked out from the world this past week.

The bleeding stopped on Saturday night and I took it fairly easily on Sunday and Monday.

Ob appointment was yesterday arvo and I first spoke to him about a dear friend who managed to get pregnant first cycle after her m/c only to have very low rising HCG and start to m/c again today – unfortunately it appears to be a chemical. I’m just devastated for her, her and her husband were so positive that this couldn’t happen to them twice in a row, and now they’ve been crushed twice in 5 weeks 

I told him about my bleed and he was a little concerned. He kept saying brown blood isn’t too bad, and I said no sorry this was bright red blood. Oh ‘not good’ he said. Yep – knew that…….

So we went over to the U/S machine and he went with the abdominal scan. He said ‘see that’ and this time I could not see a thing. Last time I saw the heartbeat straight away, this time I could just see grey, black and white. I told him honestly I can’t see a thing this time. Then he did an measurement and it was 10 wk and 6 days, I said woooah that’s bit big, better not be that big already 

He then did an internal and once that was in we could see a baby. A ‘real’ looking baby. It had arms and legs and a distinct head and body. I’ve never been pregnant with a REAL baby. I’ve only ever seen blobs. This looked like a baby and I was blown away. I’m not naïve or stupid, I used to be a nurse and I’ve seen a stack of ultrasounds etc etc, I know how babies develop. BUT me personally, I’ve never been able to make something that grew enough to look like a real baby  you could even see the fingers.

I stopped and just stared for awhile, I must have gone very quiet because he asked if I was alright. I told him that for all the many times I’ve been pregnant I’ve never grown something that looked like an actual baby. It was moving and kicking and he even said can you see it kicking. It was so surreal. And I said to my partner its so strange that there is so much movement but I can’t feel anything. I think DP was a little awestruck by the whole situation too, neither of us have seen anything that looks like an actual baby. And the Dr said this is usually the stage where people give the baby a nickname, yeah buddy not us. No nicknames yet. We don’t even say WHEN we have a baby, we say IF we have a baby. We are very very aware that there is still a chance of something going wrong and are being respectful of that.

NT scan in 2 weeks and 2 days. OB appointment 3 weeks.

Lets hope for no more bleeding!

Apologies for the blurry image, its a photo taken of a scan on my mobile.