Ummmmmm. oops - guess who forgot they had a blog!!!!
I have a new laptop so I hope I can get back into posting again. But its been about ten weeks since I've updated!!!! How slack is that!
I can't believe its 2011.
I can't believe I'm 30.
I can't believe I am going to be a Mummy this year!
I had wonderful Xmas and birthday and was totally and utterly spoilt beyond belief by DP. He spent way too much money (as did I on him), but we both reasoned that realistically it was the last time it was ever going to be just the two of us. And that next year it would all be about the baby. And of course 30 is a big birthday so diamonds were totally acceptable
We did manage to get away for a couple of days, which was fantastic. Most years we cant go away at Christmas because it is when DP's work is busiest. But thankfully Christmas, Boxing Day, NEw Years and the Public Holidays all fell on perfect days for us. So relaxing at the beach was a welcome surprise. Even if I did look like a beached whale. I didn't venture too far out into the ocean, even though the waves were small. I was worried about being knocked over and doing any damage, I didn't come all this way to screw it up by being to adventurous at the beach. I also had my first full pregnant swim in a pool and OMG it was heaven. Just not feeling any weight on your joints and being instantly cooled from head to toe was marvellous! I really wish we had a pool!
Baby has for the first time started moving while I walk. Usually its pretty still most of the day. I definitely can't measure movements per hour like some people. I have to wait til night time when I lay down to feel movement. But on new Years Even while I was shopping I was getting massive jabs to the ribs while I was walking. I had to keep stopping. I'm sure the other shoppers thought I may have been in labour
Speaking of labour I am a little nervous that I may go early. I'm getting random pains? (tightenings, twinges, sensations?) in my cervix so I'm wondering if its getting itself ready to start things rolling. I know you can be a little dilated for many weeks so i'm not too worried.
I;m just more nervous that I'll have a baby soon. Its just so surreal. I'm paranoid I'll have no idea what to do or I'll screw it up somehow. But I guess its pretty natural to feel apprehensive. I know my wonderful partner and family will help me through the hard times adn be there to help celebrate the good times. Its still daunting to know that in the next few weeks our lives will absolutely change forever!
Also, my body has decided it wont let me sleep anymore. Which I am NOT happy about. I tried to sleep in while I had a little time of over the Xmas break, but my body would not comply. You'd think it would be smart enough to encourage me to sleep in and get lots and lots of sleep now considering I wont be getting much of it soon! But no, asleep late and up early. Not my idea of fun!
Grow little one Grow!
Monday, January 3, 2011
Sunday, November 7, 2010
24 Weeks and 5 Days Pregnant
I can't believe its been so long since I've posted!! The feeling of nothing really happening, then my laptop dying, and being way to busy at work to spend my days on the internet :( has seen me heavily neglect my blog!!!!
I got caught in this 'in between phase' of my pregnancy. There was no movement yet, and I was feeling human again, not so tired every second of the day. I just felt like my normal everyday self, but I was getting a bit (lot) fatter.
I couldn't really plan a nursery, or do anything baby realted as I still didn't feel like there was a chance I'd get a baby at the end of this. An anterior placenta also meant I had to wait a little longer to get the reassurance of movement. The lack of reassurance meant I was really really uncomfortable with talking about or doing anything 'baby related'. Even now I feel like I've tempted fate a little by buying things. But we have hardly anything as yet.
The first baby item we got was a car. I had a 2 door, so we got rid of that and got another sedan. Within a week dp and I had swapped cars. So now I've got the 4WD - which I'm more than hapy with :-)
The car was about 6 weeks ago. Then yesterday we actually got some furniture for the nursery. The first 'real' baby purchase DP and I had made. And of course, baby was very quiet all day yesterday, I thought I'd jinxed myself by buying something. I know its silly, but when you've been pregnant so many times, yet still don't have a child..... .well its hard to get excited yet. I am trying very hard though. But come 2am I was woken up with some aerobic action to my bladder, so I felt a little comforted!
I've even taken some items from my sister that we'll be using instead of buying new. This week I'm going off to do my baby shower registery, and from that I should be able to work out everythig we need. I'll then tale the big things off the registry and DP and I will get them adn leave the smaller things to be baby shower gifts. Anything that we dont get we can just pay for after the shower.
I've at least picked a colour for the nursery and I kind of have a theme in mind. I just have to see if its feasible and something I can actually pull out of my imagination and put into a room. I have grand ideas in my head, so I hope the execution is up to scratch. I'm going for a very sentimental and calm room. in my head I can see black and white. As in white furntire, black accents, and then black and white photos. I just need to do it in a way so that the balck isn't too harsh. The plan would then be to accentuate with either blue or pink when 'Fred' arrives (I know its a terrible nickname - but I name EVERYTHING Fred).
So if anyone has any nursery ideas that they want to share... I'm all ears!!!!!!
DP and I spend most of our time staring at the house trying to work out where on earth to put everything. Our house isn't exactly small. We have 3 rooms, lounge / dining, a small rumpus type room and a small landing on the second floor - but we just can't fathom where everythign is going to go. Ebay is already starting to come in handy! I've offloaded a couple of pieces of unused furniture. Some other stuff will go to the tip and some may go to the Salvos. We just need to work out how we are going to set the house up so we know what to keep and what to get rid of.
I got caught in this 'in between phase' of my pregnancy. There was no movement yet, and I was feeling human again, not so tired every second of the day. I just felt like my normal everyday self, but I was getting a bit (lot) fatter.
I couldn't really plan a nursery, or do anything baby realted as I still didn't feel like there was a chance I'd get a baby at the end of this. An anterior placenta also meant I had to wait a little longer to get the reassurance of movement. The lack of reassurance meant I was really really uncomfortable with talking about or doing anything 'baby related'. Even now I feel like I've tempted fate a little by buying things. But we have hardly anything as yet.
The first baby item we got was a car. I had a 2 door, so we got rid of that and got another sedan. Within a week dp and I had swapped cars. So now I've got the 4WD - which I'm more than hapy with :-)
The car was about 6 weeks ago. Then yesterday we actually got some furniture for the nursery. The first 'real' baby purchase DP and I had made. And of course, baby was very quiet all day yesterday, I thought I'd jinxed myself by buying something. I know its silly, but when you've been pregnant so many times, yet still don't have a child..... .well its hard to get excited yet. I am trying very hard though. But come 2am I was woken up with some aerobic action to my bladder, so I felt a little comforted!
I've even taken some items from my sister that we'll be using instead of buying new. This week I'm going off to do my baby shower registery, and from that I should be able to work out everythig we need. I'll then tale the big things off the registry and DP and I will get them adn leave the smaller things to be baby shower gifts. Anything that we dont get we can just pay for after the shower.
I've at least picked a colour for the nursery and I kind of have a theme in mind. I just have to see if its feasible and something I can actually pull out of my imagination and put into a room. I have grand ideas in my head, so I hope the execution is up to scratch. I'm going for a very sentimental and calm room. in my head I can see black and white. As in white furntire, black accents, and then black and white photos. I just need to do it in a way so that the balck isn't too harsh. The plan would then be to accentuate with either blue or pink when 'Fred' arrives (I know its a terrible nickname - but I name EVERYTHING Fred).
So if anyone has any nursery ideas that they want to share... I'm all ears!!!!!!
DP and I spend most of our time staring at the house trying to work out where on earth to put everything. Our house isn't exactly small. We have 3 rooms, lounge / dining, a small rumpus type room and a small landing on the second floor - but we just can't fathom where everythign is going to go. Ebay is already starting to come in handy! I've offloaded a couple of pieces of unused furniture. Some other stuff will go to the tip and some may go to the Salvos. We just need to work out how we are going to set the house up so we know what to keep and what to get rid of.
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
13 Weeks Pregnant
The NT scan went well on Thurday. The baby was being unco-operative and the Dr was jamming the U/S wand in and out of my pelvis, jiggling it around to try and wake the baby up. It bloody hurt!!!! I ended up having to go for a walk up and down stairs to try and wake it. But she got her good shot of the neck fold, which measured at 1.2mm
The Diagnostic Centre called and gave me ny results back on Monday.
Below are the combined risks (blood test and neck measuremnt)
Trisomy 13 = 1 in 101,409
Trisomy 18 = 1 in 32,148
Trisomy 21 = 1 in 13,466 (Down Syndrome)
So definitely happy with those resultsm especially as I'm pushing 30.
So now comes the big decision. When do we start telling people?
After previous losses I just can't hnadle the thought of doing the big group announement, or a facebook announcement. So do we just keep it to ourselves until we see people - or do we ring everyone who 'needs to know'. We have told parents and grandparents, and one set of cousins (they are expecting also).
But other than that, I'm not really sure how to approach it this time?
I know that there are several people who are going to be upset that they haven't known since conception :). But I'm really hoping that they understand our reasons behind keeping it quiet for so long.......
OB appointment went well and I have graduated to a four week appointment!!!! he suggested swimming and yoga or pilates to ease my back pain. I know I can't keep going to the chiro each week!
The Diagnostic Centre called and gave me ny results back on Monday.
Below are the combined risks (blood test and neck measuremnt)
Trisomy 13 = 1 in 101,409
Trisomy 18 = 1 in 32,148
Trisomy 21 = 1 in 13,466 (Down Syndrome)
So definitely happy with those resultsm especially as I'm pushing 30.
So now comes the big decision. When do we start telling people?
After previous losses I just can't hnadle the thought of doing the big group announement, or a facebook announcement. So do we just keep it to ourselves until we see people - or do we ring everyone who 'needs to know'. We have told parents and grandparents, and one set of cousins (they are expecting also).
But other than that, I'm not really sure how to approach it this time?
I know that there are several people who are going to be upset that they haven't known since conception :). But I'm really hoping that they understand our reasons behind keeping it quiet for so long.......
OB appointment went well and I have graduated to a four week appointment!!!! he suggested swimming and yoga or pilates to ease my back pain. I know I can't keep going to the chiro each week!
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
12 Weeks Pregnant
12 Weeks Pregnant. I've never said that before about myself. I've never BEEN that before. Its a little surreal.
I'm still not totally excited, as our NT scan isn't until tomorrow. But I'm truely hoping that if we get good results back from the scan and bloods that I may even be able to crack a smile without fear of karma going 'oooh I saw you smile, miscarriage for you'. I know, I know its dumb to feel like that. But thats simply how I feel. Don't enjoy it or it might be taken away from you. So hoping I can get past that soon.
In related news, I'm fat. My pants are a bit tight. And I'm eating to much A couple of weeks ago I told DP my uterus was the size of a grapefruit, which was probably why I had a little podgy pouch belly beginning. Um, wrong - it appears that NOW my uterus is the size of a Grapefruit. I told DP and he cracked up, saying my pregnancy brain is pretty good to be able to find a reason that I had a belly other than the amount of food I've been eating
But I want healthy food when I can't get it. I keep craving salad in the middle of the day at work when there is no chance I can access a nice, clean, safe salad. I don't even trust the local Subway out here. A simple salad wrap last week made my gastro bug even worse
More than anything I want a Caesar Salad. OMG I would kill for one. But do you think I could find a single Caesar Dressing at Coles that did not contain raw egg..... nope. Then I googled it to see if I could make my own Caesar dressing without raw egg. The only thing I found was a recipe with 'egg substitue', um, no thanks - I don't even want to know how they make that. And now I'm sitting here craving a Thai beef salad, but no where around here to get one. I'll have to have a sandwich - more carbs. Story of my culinary life
I'm really trying to be conscious of what I eat, without being really restrictive. I like chocolate, I eat chocolate. I'm not giving it up no way no how. But I'm trying to contraol portion sizes and main meals. Carbs are always such a focal poitn and I'd like to try and expand on the foods I eat while my taste buds seem to be receptive (I don't like a whole heap of foods). My back is already quite sore, and I'm sure that will increase as the baby grows and I get bigger. So I'd prefer not to pack on an additional 5 - 10 kilos of fat just because I'm pregnant.
I think I also made it worse because I decreased physical activity for once I found out I was pregnant. Just another thing on the list of things I didn't want to do in the hope that I avoided a miscarriage. Am looking forward to getting back into a routine and walking a bit more.
Chrio again on Saturday so hopefully they can ease some of the pressure off my back. I'd really like to get this under control before I get too much bigger adn put more strain on my back.
To the poor people who always have back pain. YOU. DESERVE. A. MEDAL. I don't know how you do it? Mine is only early in the day and late in the evening. But its such an inconvenince and casues so much discomfort. I just can't imagine feeling tliek that constantly. I really do sympathise with you!
Anyway, i've rambled enough. Scan tomorrow, I'll update once we have results. Have a lovely day everyone, and feel free to leave comments of some healthy recipes for pregnancy
I don't eat the following:
Mushrooms
Olives
Cucumber
And probably a billion other things, but I wont get too fussy
I'm still not totally excited, as our NT scan isn't until tomorrow. But I'm truely hoping that if we get good results back from the scan and bloods that I may even be able to crack a smile without fear of karma going 'oooh I saw you smile, miscarriage for you'. I know, I know its dumb to feel like that. But thats simply how I feel. Don't enjoy it or it might be taken away from you. So hoping I can get past that soon.
In related news, I'm fat. My pants are a bit tight. And I'm eating to much A couple of weeks ago I told DP my uterus was the size of a grapefruit, which was probably why I had a little podgy pouch belly beginning. Um, wrong - it appears that NOW my uterus is the size of a Grapefruit. I told DP and he cracked up, saying my pregnancy brain is pretty good to be able to find a reason that I had a belly other than the amount of food I've been eating
But I want healthy food when I can't get it. I keep craving salad in the middle of the day at work when there is no chance I can access a nice, clean, safe salad. I don't even trust the local Subway out here. A simple salad wrap last week made my gastro bug even worse
More than anything I want a Caesar Salad. OMG I would kill for one. But do you think I could find a single Caesar Dressing at Coles that did not contain raw egg..... nope. Then I googled it to see if I could make my own Caesar dressing without raw egg. The only thing I found was a recipe with 'egg substitue', um, no thanks - I don't even want to know how they make that. And now I'm sitting here craving a Thai beef salad, but no where around here to get one. I'll have to have a sandwich - more carbs. Story of my culinary life
I'm really trying to be conscious of what I eat, without being really restrictive. I like chocolate, I eat chocolate. I'm not giving it up no way no how. But I'm trying to contraol portion sizes and main meals. Carbs are always such a focal poitn and I'd like to try and expand on the foods I eat while my taste buds seem to be receptive (I don't like a whole heap of foods). My back is already quite sore, and I'm sure that will increase as the baby grows and I get bigger. So I'd prefer not to pack on an additional 5 - 10 kilos of fat just because I'm pregnant.
I think I also made it worse because I decreased physical activity for once I found out I was pregnant. Just another thing on the list of things I didn't want to do in the hope that I avoided a miscarriage. Am looking forward to getting back into a routine and walking a bit more.
Chrio again on Saturday so hopefully they can ease some of the pressure off my back. I'd really like to get this under control before I get too much bigger adn put more strain on my back.
To the poor people who always have back pain. YOU. DESERVE. A. MEDAL. I don't know how you do it? Mine is only early in the day and late in the evening. But its such an inconvenince and casues so much discomfort. I just can't imagine feeling tliek that constantly. I really do sympathise with you!
Anyway, i've rambled enough. Scan tomorrow, I'll update once we have results. Have a lovely day everyone, and feel free to leave comments of some healthy recipes for pregnancy
I don't eat the following:
Mushrooms
Olives
Cucumber
And probably a billion other things, but I wont get too fussy
Thursday, August 5, 2010
11 Weeks and 1 Day Pregnant
Well I don't think I could have been any sicker this week. I've been hit with a bad bad gastro bug. I actually woke up at 1am on Monday night thinking I was having a miscarriage the cramps were so severe. Then again Tuesday during the day, Wednesday morning and this morning at 4am.
I went to the Dr's today and they weren't really interested in the fact that I had gastro, just said yeah there's a bug going around at the moment. However, they were very worried about the fact that the gastro has caused severe cramping over the past 5 days. Cue referral for emergency ultrasound to check current 'viability status' of the baby. Well, well, well scare the crap out of me why dont you.......
I left my mobile at home on charge so I couldn't even let dp know what was going on!!
Went straight to ulstrasound place, and naturally they said they will fit me in instantl, and I spent the waiting time thinking about how i would let people know that I had lost yet another pregnancy.........
On a side note, ladies (in Australia) with bleeding or cramping, you SHOULD be able to ring your local u/s place and asked to be fit in ASAP as you are having cramping or bleeding. I have never had a problem with this at any u/s place that I have ever been too. Even the medical centre which had an hour and a half wait fit me in staright away because I was having sever cramping due to the gastro.
I waited about 5 minutes and was called by the u/s technician who told me last time about my m/c. I said to him I hope its not an omen that I got him. I also said that if it was bad news that there was no one else I 'd rather hear it from. He looked at my name and said he remmebers scanning me before.
So as he did last time, he turned the screen away from me so he could assess the situation first. Pretty much straight away he turned the screen back to me and pointed out a very obvious (if not upside down) moving baby.
It was kicking and punching and twisting and bending and not keeping still at all. It was hard for him to get a decent still shot to measure from. He had a giggle and said its on its head and then explained what position it is in against tmy body. Feet towards my tummy and head towards my spine.
He got the measurements and they were 11 weeks and 2 days. Which is spot on for their original scan at 6 weeks. Both say a due date of the 22/02/2011. OB says the 24/02/2011 and I say 23/02/2011. SO I'm definitely happy with the measurements.
He pointed out and took images of the limbs, and confirmed that we had two arms and two legs, as well as images of the umbilical cord and the placenta.
After all the measuring was done I told him just how much I appreciated the way he dealt with me last time. I knew I had lost the baby and had just gone in to confirm it, as the hospital scanner was so crap that they couldn't see anythign at all. I told him that the way he treated me, the baby and the situation was more than I could have asked for. And that
I have never forgotten him in the two years since it had happened. Nor had I stopped being thankful that it was him that I ended up with that day. He said he was honestly touched and appreciated hearing that as it such a hard thing for them to do and that he tries to do it with as much dignity and respect as possible. He also said that he had left his old job as it was their policy to not say a word to the patient and just to walk out if there was a problem. I also said as opposed to the poor girl who got me when I had the Ovarian ectopic - she flipped out casue she had no idea what was going on!!!. He got all excited then and said wow was that YOU. We all saw those scans as it is so so rare to come across them, and it was in one of their training sessions!! And that 'Kelly' the poor girl who did that ulstrasound was still only training when that happened - poor girl!
So, in all the panic I forgot to look at the actual size, but I'll go pick up the scans in the next few days (too sick to go back today) and will check then.
NT is in a week, so hopefully the next week will be boring!!!
Oh - I had forgotten to take my phone to the dr's with, decided not to go back adn get it casue I was just going up over gastro. Well poor DP had no idea what was taking me so long and why I wasn't answering the phone!!!!!
Will not leave phone on charge next time!
I went to the Dr's today and they weren't really interested in the fact that I had gastro, just said yeah there's a bug going around at the moment. However, they were very worried about the fact that the gastro has caused severe cramping over the past 5 days. Cue referral for emergency ultrasound to check current 'viability status' of the baby. Well, well, well scare the crap out of me why dont you.......
I left my mobile at home on charge so I couldn't even let dp know what was going on!!
Went straight to ulstrasound place, and naturally they said they will fit me in instantl, and I spent the waiting time thinking about how i would let people know that I had lost yet another pregnancy.........
On a side note, ladies (in Australia) with bleeding or cramping, you SHOULD be able to ring your local u/s place and asked to be fit in ASAP as you are having cramping or bleeding. I have never had a problem with this at any u/s place that I have ever been too. Even the medical centre which had an hour and a half wait fit me in staright away because I was having sever cramping due to the gastro.
I waited about 5 minutes and was called by the u/s technician who told me last time about my m/c. I said to him I hope its not an omen that I got him. I also said that if it was bad news that there was no one else I 'd rather hear it from. He looked at my name and said he remmebers scanning me before.
So as he did last time, he turned the screen away from me so he could assess the situation first. Pretty much straight away he turned the screen back to me and pointed out a very obvious (if not upside down) moving baby.
It was kicking and punching and twisting and bending and not keeping still at all. It was hard for him to get a decent still shot to measure from. He had a giggle and said its on its head and then explained what position it is in against tmy body. Feet towards my tummy and head towards my spine.
He got the measurements and they were 11 weeks and 2 days. Which is spot on for their original scan at 6 weeks. Both say a due date of the 22/02/2011. OB says the 24/02/2011 and I say 23/02/2011. SO I'm definitely happy with the measurements.
He pointed out and took images of the limbs, and confirmed that we had two arms and two legs, as well as images of the umbilical cord and the placenta.
After all the measuring was done I told him just how much I appreciated the way he dealt with me last time. I knew I had lost the baby and had just gone in to confirm it, as the hospital scanner was so crap that they couldn't see anythign at all. I told him that the way he treated me, the baby and the situation was more than I could have asked for. And that
I have never forgotten him in the two years since it had happened. Nor had I stopped being thankful that it was him that I ended up with that day. He said he was honestly touched and appreciated hearing that as it such a hard thing for them to do and that he tries to do it with as much dignity and respect as possible. He also said that he had left his old job as it was their policy to not say a word to the patient and just to walk out if there was a problem. I also said as opposed to the poor girl who got me when I had the Ovarian ectopic - she flipped out casue she had no idea what was going on!!!. He got all excited then and said wow was that YOU. We all saw those scans as it is so so rare to come across them, and it was in one of their training sessions!! And that 'Kelly' the poor girl who did that ulstrasound was still only training when that happened - poor girl!
So, in all the panic I forgot to look at the actual size, but I'll go pick up the scans in the next few days (too sick to go back today) and will check then.
NT is in a week, so hopefully the next week will be boring!!!
Oh - I had forgotten to take my phone to the dr's with, decided not to go back adn get it casue I was just going up over gastro. Well poor DP had no idea what was taking me so long and why I wasn't answering the phone!!!!!
Will not leave phone on charge next time!
Monday, July 26, 2010
9 Weeks and 6 Days Pregnant
Sorry I’ve been MIA, but I’ve been a little bit worried and was starting to think the worst this past week. I seemed to have lost some of my symptoms – I wasn’t QUITE as tired. My boobs weren’t QUITE as sore, my nausea wasn’t QUITE as bad. Now as if the lack of symptoms wasn’t enough to worry about… I had a bleed on Saturday. Not spotting, not a little streak in my mucous. I had a bleed. Bright red, thin and a lot. Thankfully no clots though. So I kind of checked out from the world this past week.
The bleeding stopped on Saturday night and I took it fairly easily on Sunday and Monday.
Ob appointment was yesterday arvo and I first spoke to him about a dear friend who managed to get pregnant first cycle after her m/c only to have very low rising HCG and start to m/c again today – unfortunately it appears to be a chemical. I’m just devastated for her, her and her husband were so positive that this couldn’t happen to them twice in a row, and now they’ve been crushed twice in 5 weeks
I told him about my bleed and he was a little concerned. He kept saying brown blood isn’t too bad, and I said no sorry this was bright red blood. Oh ‘not good’ he said. Yep – knew that…….
So we went over to the U/S machine and he went with the abdominal scan. He said ‘see that’ and this time I could not see a thing. Last time I saw the heartbeat straight away, this time I could just see grey, black and white. I told him honestly I can’t see a thing this time. Then he did an measurement and it was 10 wk and 6 days, I said woooah that’s bit big, better not be that big already
He then did an internal and once that was in we could see a baby. A ‘real’ looking baby. It had arms and legs and a distinct head and body. I’ve never been pregnant with a REAL baby. I’ve only ever seen blobs. This looked like a baby and I was blown away. I’m not naïve or stupid, I used to be a nurse and I’ve seen a stack of ultrasounds etc etc, I know how babies develop. BUT me personally, I’ve never been able to make something that grew enough to look like a real baby you could even see the fingers.
I stopped and just stared for awhile, I must have gone very quiet because he asked if I was alright. I told him that for all the many times I’ve been pregnant I’ve never grown something that looked like an actual baby. It was moving and kicking and he even said can you see it kicking. It was so surreal. And I said to my partner its so strange that there is so much movement but I can’t feel anything. I think DP was a little awestruck by the whole situation too, neither of us have seen anything that looks like an actual baby. And the Dr said this is usually the stage where people give the baby a nickname, yeah buddy not us. No nicknames yet. We don’t even say WHEN we have a baby, we say IF we have a baby. We are very very aware that there is still a chance of something going wrong and are being respectful of that.
NT scan in 2 weeks and 2 days. OB appointment 3 weeks.
Lets hope for no more bleeding!
Apologies for the blurry image, its a photo taken of a scan on my mobile.
The bleeding stopped on Saturday night and I took it fairly easily on Sunday and Monday.
Ob appointment was yesterday arvo and I first spoke to him about a dear friend who managed to get pregnant first cycle after her m/c only to have very low rising HCG and start to m/c again today – unfortunately it appears to be a chemical. I’m just devastated for her, her and her husband were so positive that this couldn’t happen to them twice in a row, and now they’ve been crushed twice in 5 weeks
I told him about my bleed and he was a little concerned. He kept saying brown blood isn’t too bad, and I said no sorry this was bright red blood. Oh ‘not good’ he said. Yep – knew that…….
So we went over to the U/S machine and he went with the abdominal scan. He said ‘see that’ and this time I could not see a thing. Last time I saw the heartbeat straight away, this time I could just see grey, black and white. I told him honestly I can’t see a thing this time. Then he did an measurement and it was 10 wk and 6 days, I said woooah that’s bit big, better not be that big already
He then did an internal and once that was in we could see a baby. A ‘real’ looking baby. It had arms and legs and a distinct head and body. I’ve never been pregnant with a REAL baby. I’ve only ever seen blobs. This looked like a baby and I was blown away. I’m not naïve or stupid, I used to be a nurse and I’ve seen a stack of ultrasounds etc etc, I know how babies develop. BUT me personally, I’ve never been able to make something that grew enough to look like a real baby you could even see the fingers.
I stopped and just stared for awhile, I must have gone very quiet because he asked if I was alright. I told him that for all the many times I’ve been pregnant I’ve never grown something that looked like an actual baby. It was moving and kicking and he even said can you see it kicking. It was so surreal. And I said to my partner its so strange that there is so much movement but I can’t feel anything. I think DP was a little awestruck by the whole situation too, neither of us have seen anything that looks like an actual baby. And the Dr said this is usually the stage where people give the baby a nickname, yeah buddy not us. No nicknames yet. We don’t even say WHEN we have a baby, we say IF we have a baby. We are very very aware that there is still a chance of something going wrong and are being respectful of that.
NT scan in 2 weeks and 2 days. OB appointment 3 weeks.
Lets hope for no more bleeding!
Apologies for the blurry image, its a photo taken of a scan on my mobile.
Monday, July 19, 2010
8 Weeks and 6 Days
Time feels as though it is dragging a little at the moment. I think it has to do with today being the same time that I lost one of our angel babies. The baby stopped growing at 8 weeks and 5 days, but I had no sign of a miscarriage until 2 weeks later when I had the tiniest, tiniest little bit of brown spotting. TINY amount. Honestly the amount of spotting that was there would not usually cause anyone concern, but for someone reason I just KNEW it was over.
At the moment I feel a little not pregnant. Maybe I’m just used to my own personal pregnancy symptoms? I’m fat, which is so funny - Because I’m fat fat, not pregnant fat. It’s like my body has retained every single thing I have eaten. I just can’t suck my tummy in anymore. Boobs seemed to have stopped growing and are happy to sit at this full but not huge stage. Would love them to be this full all the time. The weight seems to be from grazing all day. when I ea I don’t feel nauseas. So I nibble on little lollies and bad things throughout the day. I really need to get into practice with snacking on fruit. Dinner lunch and breakfast are all good meals and I’m definitely covering off the dietary and nutritional requirements. Its just the snacking I’m having an issue with.
I get headaches if I don’t drink enough water. Never a problem at work as I drink about 2 – 3 litres. But on the weekends I need to consciously make sure I’m drinking enough water.
I still get very very sleepy around 2 pm, and then again at 6 pm. And if I stay up past 10pm I’m wide awake for hours and hours. Thankfully all the good tv shows have finished and I can get early nights. Which I think is helping a little with my energy levels. However, as everyone knows, when you’re in the first trimester no matter how much sleep you have it still feels like its not enough.
Well another week til my next OB appointment and we will see if this little one is sticking around for us.
At the moment I feel a little not pregnant. Maybe I’m just used to my own personal pregnancy symptoms? I’m fat, which is so funny - Because I’m fat fat, not pregnant fat. It’s like my body has retained every single thing I have eaten. I just can’t suck my tummy in anymore. Boobs seemed to have stopped growing and are happy to sit at this full but not huge stage. Would love them to be this full all the time. The weight seems to be from grazing all day. when I ea I don’t feel nauseas. So I nibble on little lollies and bad things throughout the day. I really need to get into practice with snacking on fruit. Dinner lunch and breakfast are all good meals and I’m definitely covering off the dietary and nutritional requirements. Its just the snacking I’m having an issue with.
I get headaches if I don’t drink enough water. Never a problem at work as I drink about 2 – 3 litres. But on the weekends I need to consciously make sure I’m drinking enough water.
I still get very very sleepy around 2 pm, and then again at 6 pm. And if I stay up past 10pm I’m wide awake for hours and hours. Thankfully all the good tv shows have finished and I can get early nights. Which I think is helping a little with my energy levels. However, as everyone knows, when you’re in the first trimester no matter how much sleep you have it still feels like its not enough.
Well another week til my next OB appointment and we will see if this little one is sticking around for us.
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